I need help removing her.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
