i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
