we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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