i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
