marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
