My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
