Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
