u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
