i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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