i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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