I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
