I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
