Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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