Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
