I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
