when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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