Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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