Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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