I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
