I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
