Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
