sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
