shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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