Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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