LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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