the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
