Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
