Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
