I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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