I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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