we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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