Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
