this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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