I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
