they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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