i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
