It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
