i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
