My pussy is not your playground.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
