I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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