Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize