dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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