bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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