I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
