when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
