Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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