I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
