yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
