12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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