Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
