it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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