She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
