Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
